sff_corgi_lj

..it starts smoking cigarettes, wearing leather, and hanging out in the back of the fridge with the slimy lettuce?

(Somehow I don't think that's what you mean by 'gone bad', but it is the image that came into my head, thankyouverymuch Mr. Evan Dorkin.)

It makes you ill if you eat it?

Or were you looking for a less self-injurious test?

Ermmm... yes, actually.

If there's no expiration date on the package, then go by smell and texture - if it smells at all "off" or the texture is funny, then toss it.

With food, if you have any doubt throw it out.

Tofu always smells awful and has a bad texture. THAT is the reason why vegetarians are so durn skinny! Hur hur hur!

Be nice to yourself and go for Quorn instead ... much nicer on the tastebuds. Siriusly though (!) I threw mine out when it went slimey.

Da-dum-DUM!

Anyway... do we get Quorn here? What is it, anyway?

Quorn (that's the brand name for it) is a textured protein that comes from (rumour has it) bacteria. It is then shaped into chunks that look and have the texture of chicken lumps and you cook it in much the same way.</font<

Mmm.... Quorn. It's made from mycoprotein and if everyone ate it, it would probably save the world from hunger. Better cooked than microwaved, but very delicious and healthy as well. Not every store carries it, unfortunately. But they all should.

Well, it's in ickle cubes and drenched with Cuban garlic sauce, so 'smell and texture' are kind of mootish.

If it smells bad (i.e. has a smell at all) and has a pinkish colour, I would stay away!

Try extra firm tofu, marinated in black bean sauce and grilled with veggies, in a pita topped with tzaziki! (That is, before it goes bad!)

It's not pink... [poke] but it did taste sort of oddly-sweetish.

If it's in your fridge to begin with.

I detect a certain anti-veggie-protein sentiment....

Your friends are so funny. Here's way more detail than you probably want or need, with love from an experienced full-time vegetarian:

When tofu gets slimy and starts to change colour, it's bad.

When it smells awful, it's bad.

When it stands up and starts making demands on the other foods in your refrigerator (especially attacking the animal foods and by-products for their political incorrectness), it's way past time. Watch out; it will enroll you in PETA at this stage.

The biggest giveaway is when it smells like yeast. It will ferment if you leave it long enough. If it's still in its original package, the plastic overwrap will bubble out.

When in doubt, don't.

Did you know you can keep it in the freezer and then use it like burger crumbles?

You can also sculpt it, like Spam. [shrug]

[puzzled] You can sculpt it?

SCULPT???

Truly, methinks you have FAAAAR too much time on your hands! Get a hobby! Um .... unless, spam-craft or tofu-whittling is a bona fide hobby .... *backs away slowly ....*

"When it stands up and starts making demands on the other foods in your refrigerator (especially attacking the animal foods and by-products for their political incorrectness), it's way past time. Watch out; it will enroll you in PETA at this stage."

Ok, first off, thank you for sending me into a fit of giggles, I really needed that.

Secondly, thank you for answering this question, because I also have some tofu of questionable age in my refrigerator.

And I'm allready a member of PETA, so I guess I'm safe in that respect. :)

Hyuk hyuk hyuk, glad to make someone laugh. I have been a PETA member off & on for more years than I'd like to admit. So have some of the other non-meat items in my ~~refrigerator~~ freezer, sad to say.

So, Corgi, did I prod you toward the no-meat thing or am I just taking credit where credit is undue, as usual? And for our April road-trip, will I be traveling with a carnivore or an herbivore or an omnivore? Enquiring minds want to know, so we can decide whether or not to do the next nude-without-fur PETA campaign.

Yeah, I want to see myself that big and unclad by the side of the highway.

Sorry, I digressed from tofu. But it's all related somehow.

Small prod. ;) Sort of a coincidence, with Lent and the spinach burritos and I figured, why spoil a good thing? It's 40 days, and might do me some good.

And for our April road-trip, will I be traveling with a carnivore or an herbivore or an omnivore?

Oh, omnivore. After Easter, at least.

...whether or not to do the next nude-without-fur PETA campaign.

GAH.

Maybe we can wear the tofu. [/droll humor]

Check this out!!! For some strange reason this cartoon came to mind. All hail Gary Larson!

http://www.vegetus.org/vegtoon/tofu.htm

heheheh

Of course tofu can be sculpted. As any well-educated pirate knows, the Cannibals' of blood island (who also worship a lactose-intolerant vulcano)use large tofu blocks to make some pretty snazzy masks. You will need the auger (found on the small table in the Cannibals' Village) to make a mask out of a big block of tofu. Note: although not commonly known, a big block of tofu made into a mask can be easily stashed away in a pair of standard issue pirate pants.
source: CMI (aka Monkey Island 3) :-)

[polite yet appropriately enthusiastic applause]

[joins in applause]

Corgi... you need to read this! LOL!

http://www.tthfanfic.com/story.php?no=3269

Ha! Cute idea! But -- what does it have to do with tofu? ;)

Absolutely nothing, but I happened to be in LJ when I found the link and wanted to get it to you.

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Fun with Tofu

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fanfic...

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