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I had to take the time to transcribe this. I bought Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them on CD (because it was, you know, Al Franken and unabridged and read by Al Franken and all), and therefore playable in my car. Multitasking, you know.

So here we are on Disk One, Track Seven, and we get to...

Chapter 5:
Loving America the Al Franken Way


If you listen to a lot of conservatives, they'll tell you that the difference between them and us is that conservatives love America and liberals hate America, that we blame America first, that we're suspicious of patriotism, and always think our country's in the wrong. As conservative radio and TV personality Sean Hannity says, we liberals "train our children to criticize America, not to celebrate it."

They don't get it. We love America just as much as they do, but in a different way.

Y'see, they love America the way a four-year-old loves her mommy. Liberals love America like grownups. To a four-year-old, everything mommy does is wonderful and anybody who criticizes mommy is bad. Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad and helping your loved one grow.

Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world.

That's why we liberals want America to do the right thing. We know America is the hope of the world and we love it and want it to do well. We also want it to do good.

When liberals look back on history, we see things we're very proud of and we also see some things which might have seemed like good ideas at the time but turned out to be mistakes. And some things we did, well, they were just bad.

That doesn't keep us from loving our country, it's part of loving our country, it's called honesty. What do you think is more important to a loving relationship, honesty or lies?


One of the best minute-forty I've ever spent.

Italicisation and paragraph breaks mine, 'cause I wasn't typing from the hardcopy, just the audio.
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