Jun. 28th, 2003 03:33 pm
sff_corgi_lj: (Default)
I have to reconstruct this - I tried using an AvantGo LJ client, and it didn't seem to bother uploading. Whatever. If the original ever shows up, I can delete this one.

GEEXM00T, the Appendix!

As she'd promised, [ profile] perceval called after lunch (her time) with the last straggles of GEEXM00T getting me passed around to them. Lovely to talk with all of you, even if I was fuzzy around the edges. I think I might have been in a better mood than might have been expected from earlier in the week.

Imogen, Percival and I had a slightly disjointed agreement on one interesting point, though -- that the 'Dementor in hardcover' has, like Voldemort during the '70s, managed to create panic, distrust and schism within the opposing forces of the Light.

It looks like things are calming down, though, as people's nerves start to... scab over. Still hurts, of course....
sff_corgi_lj: (806)
Followed from [ profile] greatwideleap to [ profile] zipudding, and copied from her:

Fare thee well, my bright star
I watched your taillights blaze into nothingness
But you were long gone before I ever got to you
Before you blazed past this address...
Fare thee well, my bright star
It was a brief, brilliant miracle dive
That which I looked up to and I clung to for dear life
Had to burn itself up just to make itself alive
And I caught you then, in your moment of glory
Your last dramatic scene against a night sky stage
With a memory so clear that it's as if you're still before me
My once-in-a-lifetime star of an age.

--The Indigo Girls


Jun. 27th, 2003 10:38 am
sff_corgi_lj: (Default)
GEEXM00T, the Appendix!

[ profile] perceval called as she said she would and passed me around the room. I think I might have sounded in better sorts than I had been expected to, from earlier in the week.

One thing she, Imogen and I agreed on in brief discussion was that the 'Dementor in hardcover' had, like Voldemort had in the '70s, managed to fragment his opposition from within. Panic and mistrust.

Thankfully, that seems to be calming down. I hope. Who says you can't learn from popular literature?
sff_corgi_lj: (806)
[ profile] martinhesselius, I found a poem after all. It was on the website of someone... hmmm... in the same head space I'm in. W.H. Auden )
sff_corgi_lj: (Default)
sff_corgi_lj: (806)
[ profile] perceval is a Wonderful and Compassionate Person.

That is all.
sff_corgi_lj: (Default)
Quoted by [ profile] phoenixchilde:

'...courtesy of [ profile] ninglor: "It's a Dementor in hardcover."'
sff_corgi_lj: (Sirius)
I don't talk about this much because it's still utterly painful -- I checked with a few of my friends who have had... reproductive issues, and I have 'permission' to say that I... miscarried. I lost a desired child.

No, not a child of my body; Medeni, my Cardigan corgi was getting old and fragile, and I desperately wanted to get another corgi puppy that Medeni could teach how to behave, before Medeni got too old to deal with a puppy's energy.

So I found a Cardie breeder who had a pet puppy she would sell me; she's a rather well-known author, but I'll rise above naming her here. Now, the situation between my mother and myself at that time was a little more complicated than it is now, and I knew that a fait accompli puppy would end up being less of a problem than everybody wanted to make it sound. I concealed this information from the breeder, because honestly, it was too hard to explain.

I let it slip that my mother didn't know about the puppy coming home with me. Now, I want to point out that it was actually and roughly nine months since we'd made this arrangement, I had paid a deposit, and I had driven 2/3s of the way across this continent to come pick up this puppy.

She wouldn't sell her to me.

I called my mother and begged for her assistance and backup. She refused.

I felt like the breeder had shoved a longsword through my guts and my mother had then pushed me off a cliff.

I didn't stop crying all the way to Albuquerque and all the way south to I-10 in West Texas. I think I ran out of readily-available tears then.

I had an emotional miscarriage. Medeni and I moved out of my mother's house immediately on my return; I deal poorly with betrayal. Medeni died three years, two months ago. And my mother has never realised the depths of the wound she dealt me -- she refuses to.

Today... I don't feel a sense of betrayal, or at least not yet. I might. Otherwise... it's about the same. It may be mere self-pity but... why does it seem like I never get to keep anything really good?


Jun. 21st, 2003 10:00 am
sff_corgi_lj: (Sirius)


sff_corgi_lj: (Default)

October 2012

 1 23456


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 20th, 2017 06:05 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios